Earlier today when I was hopping Metro trains like I knew the route out of habit, I wondered if anyone would mistake me for a Parisian. I was by myself, so one one heard me speak English. I had tucked my camera away in my purse, which I’d bought in France, so I didn’t look too touristy. I thought. Till I looked down and saw my white sneakers. Oh, well, maybe someday I’ll figure out what shoes you wear to walk hundreds of kilometers other than sneakers. French women don’t wear tennis shoes. Unless they are playing tennis.
Then tonight on the Metro, I discovered the need to learn some key French phrases. All five us us were getting off the train.. or trying to. A group of young women were busy talking and blocking the door on the train; they didn’t budge. As I was worming my way through that blockade, I was met with a woman storming her way onto the train even though no one had managed to get off it yet. I only had a split second to decide what to do to make sure Kaitlyn and I got off that train. So I pushed my shoulder right into her… sending her back onto the platform. She made some snippy comment to me in French; Bill called her a f-ing idiot. He says both words are the same in both languages. Note to self: ask at next lesson for some handy rude phrases to use (depending on the teacher).
While I was busy thinking about my rudimentary rude French, I was reminded that my loudspeaker French is also sorely lacking.
We were on our next train when the conductor (do you conduct a Metro?) announced I have no idea what. It was as clear as the drive through at Taco Bell. In another language. About 90 percent of the people on the train got off the train. So we got off. Then there was another announcement on the platform, and everyone got back on the train. So we got on the train. Then there was another announcement in the train and everyone got back off the train. Almost everyone. We stood in the doorway looking positively befuddled. It is safe to say, we were not blending in. A French woman explained what was going on and luckily Bill understood what she was saying. So we got off. Finally, the conductor got the final stragglers to get out and he left… going back the way he came. In other words, the wrong way.
What did the French woman explain was going on? It sounds like a Laurel & Hardy movie to me (those were actors from Shakespeare’s day).
no, no, isn’t What playing third base?
You should have seen Mandy shove the other French woman off the metro train. It was f—ing hilarious!