staying put

Lots of people are going home. Lots and lots. Every evening at dinner, Bill and I compare information on who’s the latest family to be leaving Grenoble. And the list of people staying is getting very, very small.

So far, we continue to be on the list of those staying. And it’s starting to feel, well, lonely. Even though people are still here, waiting to be contacted by the company that handles relocation. Knowing that so many of my friends are leaving is just lonely. I already think this summer is going to be very difficult… just me and Kaitlyn in a house with some freakish attraction for wasps.

But it isn’t just that. It isn’t just looking ahead and seeing myself with a great deal more alone time. It isn’t just knowing that I’ll have to help Kaitlyn deal with some of her favorite friends moving away. Bill put his finger on it tonight. It’s actually that I can’t help but feel, well, a little jealous. Not that I envy anyone having to move. Ever. Not that we don’t like living here. I wouldn’t want to make it permanent, but I like it. (Well, I like it while I have friends here.) We just can’t help but feel a little jealous that we aren’t the ones looking at a new house, new cars, new school, new opportunities… and all in English. Yes, our turn will come. And when it does, we may realize we aren’t ready for it. Or we might welcome it. But right now, it just feels really strange to be on the sidelines… watching… wondering… hoping that when we are told to go home… it’s to a job… and a place we want to go.

One Response to “staying put”

  1. D.A.D. says:

    You are both so young (so is Kaitlyn). No matter how the current situation plays out, you have sooo many years ahead to mold your lives. And that fact nobody can eliminate (any faster than time itself moves). Soak up what unique things this foreign placement has handed to you. I know the language barrier has to be horrible. But your trips around the countryside at every possible opportunity are giving you memories and experiences beyond what 99% of the people on this earth ever get to live. Now, enough of my rah-rah speech…..I’m sorry it’s difficult, and hope you can get it together okay!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.