Lots of people are going home. Lots and lots. Every evening at dinner, Bill and I compare information on whos the latest family to be leaving Grenoble. And the list of people staying is getting very, very small.
So far, we continue to be on the list of those staying. And its starting to feel, well, lonely. Even though people are still here, waiting to be contacted by the company that handles relocation. Knowing that so many of my friends are leaving is just lonely. I already think this summer is going to be very difficult… just me and Kaitlyn in a house with some freakish attraction for wasps.
But it isnt just that. It isnt just looking ahead and seeing myself with a great deal more alone time. It isnt just knowing that Ill have to help Kaitlyn deal with some of her favorite friends moving away. Bill put his finger on it tonight. Its actually that I cant help but feel, well, a little jealous. Not that I envy anyone having to move. Ever. Not that we dont like living here. I wouldnt want to make it permanent, but I like it. (Well, I like it while I have friends here.) We just cant help but feel a little jealous that we arent the ones looking at a new house, new cars, new school, new opportunities… and all in English. Yes, our turn will come. And when it does, we may realize we arent ready for it. Or we might welcome it. But right now, it just feels really strange to be on the sidelines… watching… wondering… hoping that when we are told to go home… its to a job… and a place we want to go.
You are both so young (so is Kaitlyn). No matter how the current situation plays out, you have sooo many years ahead to mold your lives. And that fact nobody can eliminate (any faster than time itself moves). Soak up what unique things this foreign placement has handed to you. I know the language barrier has to be horrible. But your trips around the countryside at every possible opportunity are giving you memories and experiences beyond what 99% of the people on this earth ever get to live. Now, enough of my rah-rah speech…..I’m sorry it’s difficult, and hope you can get it together okay!