Today I am sad. Unbearably sad. Can’t stop crying sad. I hate to even say this, but I’m sad because Todd is here.
Todd is Bill’s best friend, and a friend of mine, too. He arrived yesterday from the United States. We’ve been looking forward to his visit for weeks. I get to spend a few days playing tour-guide then he and Bill will head off to Paris.
So why am I so sad?
Because company seems to remind me of what is missing here. Not just Pop Tarts and Miracle Whip. Friends. I know people. I am trying to make friends. But it isn’t easy. Too much has changed all at once… sometimes it’s like I’m not even sure who I am anymore. But I’m fairly sure I’m not quite the right fit for the group of conservative Peorians (or are they Peoriaites?) who make up most of the other ISE families here.
Bill reminded me it takes time. But I wonder if it takes something else, something I just don’t have.