This morning, Kaitlyn would not let go of me when I tried to drop her off at school. When we first got there, she was playing around on a giant carpet roll and fell and she clung to me for dear life for every moment after that. It was so hard, tears rolling down her face and her crying I want my Mommy to stay. The teachers said it is normal for a child to go through this after about a week of class… adjusting to so many new things and all. They said if I could stand to do it, just leave her there crying. I couldn’t. Even if I’d wanted to, she wouldn’t let go. Finally, I took her aside so she could talk privately and I explained to her how much more fun she would have at school and how she should be a big girl and give it a try… that the teacher could call me at any time if she needed me. Kaitlyn sniffed the last few sniffles, wiped her nose with the back of her hand and kissed me bye-bye then turned and walked the slowest, saddest walk I’ve ever seen over to the reading area for morning songs.
I knew she’d be fine.
But I cried when I got to the car.
I rushed to the store to pick up the things I still needed to get her for school… paper and kleenex. While I was there, a few things I thought might make Kaitlyn feel better made it into the cart. In the checkout line, the man in front of me tried to say something to me I think about how all the lines were long and slow. All I could say back was je ne parle pas bien francais. I felt like such an idiot. He kept talking to me, probably saying things he thought would be easy to understand, but I had no idea what he was trying to tell me. It made me cry when I got home.
I finally got signed up for French lessons. They don’t start until next Wednesday. I guess until then, we’ll eat a lot of baguettes (it’s all I can say at the boulangerie) and I’ll get the smile and nod I use when I don’t understand something perfected.