things I hate

Flies. Especially the ones that fly into my house and then buzz around my head and move too fast to be swatted.

The default font on my word program. Helvetica. Really?

The way I can see multiple chins in my reflection in my computer.

When my husband makes himself a snack just before dinner.

When my husband makes himself a snack right after dinner.

Mopping.

The price of having things framed. I have piles of things I’d love to have framed if it didn’t represent a small fortune. They just never look quite right if you frame them yourself. Never.

My mailbox. It’s small and black and plain and doesn’t go with my house at all. I guess that’s what happens when you live on the other side of the ocean and tell your realtor “Just go buy a cheap mailbox.” I need to look at it and see how hard it would be to switch it out.

Cutting in paint. Even with tape. I stink at it.

Stores and restaurants that are too hot. If it’s the dead of winter and your employees are wearing short sleeves, it’s too hot inside your business. See, I’ve come in wearing a turtleneck and a heavy coat and a scarf and a hat and gloves and boots. And I can’t set all that down in your break room. So I’m not going to stick around and spend a lot of my money here. And, by the way, all that heat also gives me a migraine. So, thanks for that, too.

People who pet my dog without permission. I’ll never be able to teach him not to jump on people if you just reach down and pet him no matter his behavior.

My waist. (or lack thereof)

The assumption by others that I’m available 24/7 in my role as a volunteer.

The way people will answer their cell phones at inappropriate times (in the library, while talking with someone, in line at the supermarket) and without even saying hello say “I can’t talk right now.” Then why’d you answer? That’s what voice mail is for.

Carrying a purse and grocery shopping. The two just don’t go together. The one benefit of winter is I know I’ll have on a coat and can stuff my wallet into the pocket. On the downside, even my grocery store is too hot in the winter. (I really don’t want to see the electric bills companies around here pay in January.)

People who tout induction cooktops as being able to boil water in 90 seconds or less. I had one in France and it did no such thing.

Drivers holding their cell phones up to their ears to chat while driving. Especially in luxury cars. Do you want me to believe your BMW or Volvo didn’t come with a hands free feature? Go buy a headset thingie. You may be able to have the conversation and pay attention to what you’re doing, but you can’t drive well with one arm. Period.

The array of polish colors from which I must choose at the nail salon. I’m sorry, it’s just overwhelming. And the woman two chairs over always appears to have a better color than the one I chose.

The way Kaitlyn’s school bus driver keeps her own schedule. She’s late in the morning and late in the afternoon. But never by the same amount of time twice.

The chime on my washer and dryer.  Even set to LOUD you have to have superhuman hearing to notice it.  It’s like the people who designed it assumed I’d just sit in my laundry room the entire time I’m doing laundry.  Newsflash: I don’t.

My inability to remember to water plants. Seriously. Why is this so hard?

Days when I can’t think of anything to write about. Am I that boring?

Finding a new doctor/dentist/hair stylist.

The fly buzzing around my head right now. Did I mention flies?

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